5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

About four weeks ago, certainly one of my siblings tagged me in a video clip she recorded of Family Feud, a casino game show where two families compete for the money reward by looking for the most used responses to a number of concerns. In the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to resolve an extremely loaded statement: “Name reasons a female might choose to be having a chubby or fat man.”

The contestants’ answers end up supplying a round that is humorous the minds associated with participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.

But my sister didn’t share this movie on her behalf Facebook web web page to garner laughs from her relatives and buddies. It had been just the opposite: my cousin had been mad in the round’s subject while the answers provided. My cousin penned:

“This actually bothers me personally! this is the reason individuals think you need to be skinny/fit become breathtaking, to be desired, to be liked, also to deserve anything…this is never OK!”

My sister tagged me personally on this page once you understand my background in fat panamanian girlfriend dating studies and sex studies (so that as a fat masculine person), once you understand I would personally concur along with her frustrations.

Image description: A screenshot of this Family Feud game board because of the six most well known responses: “Fatty got cash” (34 away from 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The thing this round that is particular of Feud does correctly is summarize a number of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat guys — and relationships.

But, calling down myths that are fatphobic obviously perhaps maybe not the game’s aim. Rather it perpetuated body terrorism against fat systems to get laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each of the top six most answers that are popular order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and bad for males of size.

1. “Fatty Got Money!”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Cash or Energy

The misconception: the reality that this misconception is considered the most popular regarding the six provided responses — 34 regarding the 100 individuals initially surveyed offered this or perhaps a similarly-worded solution — is troubling by itself. This myth is one thing we come across throughout US tradition, whether it is in films, politics, or popular culture.

The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would somebody who could presumably get with anyone they desired decide to get with a disgusting fat guy, right?

This type of idea is incredibly damaging for the complete large amount of fat males, putting each of their value as people to the cash or energy they might or might not have.

More reads that are radical going from Healthism to Radical Self-Love: the person when you look at the picture

The facts: While you can find, needless to say, some individuals whom just look for relationships for the money or energy, the reality is that frequently, individuals will prefer to get with a man that is fat they really wish to be with him. This misconception is a lot less frequently placed on thin or “fit” guys, unless of program see your face is well known to possess cash or energy. However it’s much easier for individuals to comprehend two thin or usually appealing individuals being together because they’re drawn to each other than when a thin or person that is traditionally attractive become with a fat guy for any other less shallow reasons.

2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat Individuals

The misconception: with this particular misconception, we come across exactly exactly how individuals make an effort to simply just just take people’s that are away fat. It shows that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, because they only find other fat people attractive or that’s all they can “get”, in the most brutal of terms whether it’s.

Slipped into this misconception is just an associated fatphobic myth: that all fat everyone loves to consume a large amount of meals, and all sorts of individuals who like to consume food are fat.

The truth: place clearly, the presumption that fat individuals will just look for relationships along with other fat individuals is false. Humans — fat, thin, as well as in between — is and sometimes are drawn to a wide selection of individuals of most size and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat individuals has reached ab muscles least ignorant, or even entirely fatphobic and sizeist.

So that as when it comes to indisputable fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that’s another misconception too.

3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Ugly

The misconception: All fat males, based on this worldview, are inherently less appealing than any partner they might ever have. Such men’s lovers would only make use of them to look more desirable in comparison. This misconception makes the assumption that, as stated above, no body could conceivably maintain a relationship by having a fat guy because they’re actually interested in him. Fat folks are merely tools to make their (presumably non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.

The reality: just like many people might pursue a man that is fat cash or energy, many people might just pursue fat guys to appear more appealing to other people. In fact, though, this is apparently less frequent than this solution will have us think.

I’ll keep saying the idea, no matter if We appear to be a broken record: many individuals really find fat guys appealing!

4. “She’s In Love”

It was the sole truly mocking-free solution included in the most notable responses regarding the board. That by itself is illustrative associated with the fatphobia that is entrenched display into the remaining portion of the responses. In addition it will come in at 9/100, and thus away from 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” had been the clear answer written by just nine individuals.

Exactly what are fat males viewing expected to think of their health and their well well worth as humans?

5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling Yet Not Intercourse

The misconception: this can be those types of stereotypes that are“positive many of us attempt to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are stylish and confident.”

Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, not much else regarding the side that is“positive” of. As proof of this, among the game show contestants offered a solution that finished up maybe maybe not being from the board: that a female would date a fat man because he had been proficient at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, responded as though this was the essential crazy answer in the planet, using the other participants therefore the market laughing in contract. In that way, the show promoted the idea that while fat guys can be hot and cuddly, they aren’t to be noticed as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.

The reality: the matter with “positive stereotypes” is the fact that they anyone that is automatically alienate does not remain in those stereotypes. Worse, they alienate anybody who really wants to be observed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.

Truly the only quality that is redeeming tradition enables fat guys — if they aren’t rich or powerful, rather than also 100% associated with the time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy bears. even though many fat guys are indeed “warm and cuddly,for them to see this as their only positive trait” it’s harmful.

Further, exactly exactly what somebody perceives to be that is“good “bad” at intercourse can be totally subjective and situated in individual choice. Ridiculing the idea that fat guys could possibly be “good” at intercourse further entrenches fatphobia that is systemic.

6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too Eager For Like To Be Unfaithful

The myth: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the partners, the reasoning goes, since they wouldn’t do just about anything to ruin the “only sure thing” they will have inside their present relationship. This basically means, they understand that no one else would like to be together with them.

The facts: To bluntly put it, this is certainly upright wrong. This dehumanizing survey response assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and intimate attention.

As damning as it can be to acknowledge, fat guys are just like likely as some other males to cheat on the lovers. And much more crucially, this misconception posits that fat males are incredibly ugly, they would be given by no one the opportunity to cheat on the lovers, which, once again, can also be inappropriate to assume.

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The Ongoing Challenge of Fatphobia

As with all fables and stereotypes about a small grouping of people, these five study responses on Family Feud reveal the blatant human body terrorism fat guys are afflicted by inside our tradition.

Despite exactly exactly just what these urban myths could have you imagine, fat men’s systems are inherently worthy. They’re also desirable and appealing to a lot of other individuals. This truth should be so hard n’t to assume, nevertheless the proven fact that it had been addressed as a result on a tv series illustrates so how profoundly fatphobia has pervaded culture.

As you’re watching this episode disturbed and angered me personally, it is a reminder that people have actually considerable strive to do in order to attain any kind of across-the-board amounts of respect for fat individuals. Just then will we have the ability to make these urban myths and any negative perceptions related to them obsoleted modes of idea as opposed to mainly accepted norms.

Feature image: picture of a person indoors that are sitting. They truly are using a t-shirt that is white baseball limit while they stare to the digital camera with a small grin to their face. They usually have dark epidermis, a fade that is low, and a beard.